Blog 15... "My first round of treatments"

Big Decisions in my life...I made up my mind, I started alternative treatments at The Genesis Center, in Cumming, Georgia, on yesterday.  I met Dr. Sloan and his wife about 4 years ago, we connected and became facebook friends. We have been friends all these years, and I would see his post about alternative treatments, but at the time none of that related to my life, so honestly, I reviewed it all in passing. Never paying much attention. I did however relate alternative treatments to him, and simply forgot in my state of fear and confusion.

  It wasn't until I was out in Arizona, at a different alternative treatment center that  I realized that I could have simply just scheduled to see Dr. Sloan, here in Atlanta  instead of traveling so far away. Don't get me wrong I would have loved to live the full spring in Scottsdale, AZ. I would thoroughly enjoy the warm weather, however, I have a small child, all of my family and friends are here in Atlanta and I don't think I could have handled being out there all alone. I am grateful that I thought of Doctor Sloan and glad that I was able to get in and start my first treatment on yesterday. That shot of Vitamin D in the booty ...isn't feeling so hot today, but hey, no pain no gain, as the ole saying goes. 

I am realistic in my disease. The traditional medicine treatment could give me a couple of years, with the chemo so many other things go wrong with other area's and often times the cancer spreads to areas that it wasn't at before. I didn't and do not want that for myself. I am believing in what statistic's can't prove. Because believing what statistics have proven with my disease... I will be dead in 12 months with chemo. Every doctor has given me a different answer... therefore; I believe I have to go with what my body and mind feels is right and give it the best shot I got.  

I can't lie to you or myself ... and say that I know this going to work 100% .. I don't know that for sure. What I know is... that I want to be healthy .. I want to see the alternative medicine results in my blood and in my scans in the next 6 to 8 weeks and I want to know that what I am doing is working. There is no way to do that, unless I do it.  I feel good, I keep saying that but for a patient with STAGE 4 live cancer, I don't feel, like I should feel with this disease. I feel that I should be sick, I should have no energy, I should be on this total decline of health, and yet, I don't I feel bad, at all. I work everyday! I am a mother. A grandmother, sister, friend, and all the things that I have always been to everyone that needs me. 

 I am not without concern, but my faith and hope overrule what uncertainty can bring into my life. Not one time have I heard anyone say to me "Christy, I am sorry you are sick and dying." Where they have no hope...(because everyone does) what I do hear is "Christy, if anyone in the world can beat this... you can!" How can I go wrong with trying my hardest to beat it?

I have a lot of pressure right now, eating healthy is hard, working full time, Evan in school, playing softball, my grandson playing baseball, games and practices, and all the other things that go along with just living life. I try my best to be every thing to everyone and sometimes I want to scream... And believe me I do. Who wouldn't just break down sometimes?

I never asked for cancer. It's not welcome in my life and yet like a thief it has come into my life and is trying to take the very heart and soul of who I am ... It's terrifying. I hate it. I want to just go into my own skin and rip out all the cancer, and let it know who the boss is, but I can't do that either. I chose my picture for the blog because that is how I see cancer, a big scary monster, and there I am taking my photo and smiling with it...  So... what I am doing is having the strength to make tough decisions for myself and my family to be here to be the person I have always been. I am a survivor, I have been challenged all of my life, and sometimes .....I didn't have to fight as hard as I am now, but cancer will not kill me, I will not allow it! I will not give it the satisfaction of hurting me and the ones I love so much. I want to live. I want to be here to see my girls and grandson grow up into older adults themselves. I have not always been the perfect person, but who has???What I know is all I can do is try my best! To give this fight all that I have to rid my life of this horrid disease. Along this journey I have seen the inspiration I have given to others to eat better and take better care of themselves. That is amazing to me.  

I hear people telling me all the time how much they admire my courage. It's just you never know how courageous you can be until you are forced to have it.  I want everyone to know that in this life I have lived, I have had up's and down's but my greatest moments are the moments ....I share with my family. I can not ever begin to tell them how much they all mean to be. They are my heart and soul in my life....and  my happiness. The people that I count on the most to pick me up in the moments I fall. Like going through this. We are stronger and wiser together as a family. 

Cancer can be beaten. I believe that. I hope that I am one of the survivors on the other side of this giving hope and courage to others that are facing the same uncertainties that I am facing everyday. I have no idea what all the things I am doing to get rid of this disease are doing to my body, I just know that I am doing outside of the box things that over time have been proven to work with many other people. Most people sit back and are quiet about all of this, don't spread the word, don't spread the knowledge, is my opinion. I am ready for this fight. I have my boxing  gloves on and I am hitting hard at incredible speed. It's about the journey that I want people to understand and relate to, cancer is hard. I wake up and that is the first thing on my mind every single morning since I got diagnosed.  I wish that it wasn't but because it is... honestly, it makes me more determined to beat it. I could hide from it, I could run away and believe everything about death that I have been told I will face or I can reach deep within myself and believe that without a doubt I will not be another one of modern and traditional medicine statistics ever!  I've always marched to a beat of my own drum, and with cancer I will continue to do so. 

Don't cry for me ... Pray for me....