Blog # 88.... Clinical Trial, Recovery, Chemo, and Mexico .. What a mixture!

I am finally recovering from the third round of Y90! This time was a little tougher than the last two times. The nausea has been horrible. I think I hugged the stupid toilet in a week and a half more than I have all the others years of my life put together.

 I was recovering from the nausea and then I did chemo and it just fired it all back up again. It wasn't until a friend from facebook (I have never met), offered me some essential oils, and they worked. I must admit I was skeptical but I am glad that I used them because they made me feel 100% better, I now can say I highly recommend them! I will be posting a link to her website on my blog.  Things are getting better I just still have the constant back pain. I think its  a nerve not really my back, I had an X Ray and nothing showed on there, I guess it's just something I am going to have to live with whether I want to or not. 

I have chemo again tomorrow (which I am dreading) I hate feeling bad... The treatments of this disease are like a roller coaster, I get the treatments, feel bad, start recovering andfeeling better, and then it's time for another treatment. I feel like it's a roller coaster ....merry go round all in one. It's really all about the high's and low's... Hating the the low's and loving the high's! The good thing about this chemo treatment is it going to be the last one before I head on my girls trip to Mexico. I am determined to not feel bad in Mexico. I will have a two week break and hopefully I will be recovered completely from the Y90 and the chemo and able to have a good time in Mexico!  This trip has been booked for 2 months, when we booked it I thought the time would never come and as of today we are 17 days from boarding the plane to paradise. I can not wait. I couldn't even express in words how excited I am, if I had to do it!  I am going with 4 other amazing ladies and we are going to relax, eat, have a drink or two, and truly dance the night away. I am so ready! 

Last week was my brother, Greg's and my little daughter Evan Raine's birthdays. On Friday night I got all dolled up and went downtown for a nice dinner to celebrate my brothers birthday and had my first glass of wine in almost 15 months. I sipped the wine over a couple of hours, I knew that I had to be careful because I am still having to take my pain pills at night (especially if I go out somewhere) because I would not be able to sit at a table for more than 10 minutes the way my back feels. 

It felt good to get out and go celebrate my brothers birthday, something I use to do all the time without a thought of anything and now days it's a treat if I can feel good enough to go. That makes me sad a little because I see how much my life has changed with this horrible disease, ways that you don't even really even think about because I don't feel good enough most of the time to do all the things I use to do. It's okay... I would rather be home resting so I can do more things in the future... than to go and sit there miserable and wishing I was home. I listen to my body now, and I don't try to overdo what I know I can not overdo. It's my new life being a cancer patient and honestly as long as I am alive than I am happy with whatever choices I have to make to get me through to the next day! I didn't make it out to the club with everyone else at the party, I wanted to go but I knew the next day I had 17 kids coming to my Evan's birthday party and I really need my rest for making sure her party went as smooth as possible. I didn't have her party at my house, I had it at her gymnastic's place and she was so happy. She said it was the BEST day of her life. It was chaos but worth every single smile on her face. She had a blast, all the kids had a great time and that hour and a half that I spent days preparing for was worth every single dollar I spent to make sure she had a great day! 

While I was preparing and at her party my sweet friends, Linda, Kim, and Kenny spent 6 hours out in my front yard, clearing out flower beds, pulling weeds, cutting down tree limbs, planting flowers, and mulching. They did an amazing job, and would not let me pay them a dime. I wanted to cry I am so grateful for friendships that are so loving and giving. I could never repay so many people that have extended themselves out to me in my time of need. It's amazing. I have always been the giver so to receive feels amazing...

I still haven't heard anything from.... President Obama, doesn't surprise me... But... there is a huge development.... The Walton Tribune has agreed to write my story and help me in trying to get all of these outstanding claims paid to Newton Medical Center. I met with the sweet reporter, Meagan Hurley, Staff Writer..... She contacted both Coventry One and Humana. Coventry One really hasn't cooperated as of yet but Humana, immediately has contacted me and has taken charge of getting all of my claims back reviewed and being paid. The hospital thus far has received $40,000.00  considering all the claims they paid last year.... and only paid $10,000 if that. $40,000 for two repaid claims makes me very happy.  I have pushed this issue and been in contact with the head of billing at Newton Medical Center that told me most patients are not as diligent to help them get paid. With tears in my eyes I told her, "without Newton Medical Center and Dr. Chamsuddin, I would truly not be alive and they are owed the money and I will fight until they are paid within 100% of their contractual agreement". She said that they will be going after Coventry One next... things are happening, They are getting paid and honestly that is all I wanted to see happen.

 I have been given another chance at life and there is no price tag on what mine or anyone else's life is worth. My story comes out in the Walton Tribune this Wednesday 4/22/2015 I am excited to see it in print. Great things are happening and I know that what is right is right and everyone should be as diligent in making sure the right things happen. I have heard a million times I should not have to be dealing with this when I am sick, it's my life and they are my bills ... who else should be doing it? 

I'm at a good place. I am not feeling 100% and like I said earlier I have chemo again tomorrow and I know it's going to kick my butt, I prepare myself for the side effects I would say you get use to them but there is no way to get use to feeling so bad. I hope it's better that most of the Y90 is now out of my system and it's easier than the week before last. It's going to be what it's going to be and the one thing you learn to do is... deal with it!  

Things have been pretty quiet this past two weeks with all the other cancer patients I know.... we are all just doing our thing to do what we can to rid our bodies of this nightmare. I told someone yesterday I am tired of it and ready to pass the cancer torch, to bad we can't do that.

 I am meeting with Dr. Kooby at Emory Clinic on May 1st. He is the surgeon that Dr. Chamsuddin went before the board with about my case. Even though I am not a candidate for the resection of my liver he still wants me to meet with him, there is a clinical trial out of Brooklyn, New York that I am interested in hearing about and also another chemo that might be better for my cancer. I am open... as I have been since day one of this disease. I will leave no stone unturn trying to beat this monster. I am not afraid to try something new.... if I was.... I would not be at the great place of beating this cancer that I am at. I am afraid but being afraid doesn't hold me back when it comes to my life. I just go into the new treatments knowing that I am doing all I can and that is all I can expect for myself. So many people tell me "I could not have done what you have done" Really? You give yourself everything you have to live and that is all you can possibly ever hope to accomplish in life.... So there is no thoughts or concerns that go into whatever it is that has to happen to make you live you do it, you grin and bare it and do it with all of you that there is to give to make it happen. 

I want to live and I will never ever give up a second I have on this earth to do what I can to make that happen. I owe that to myself, to my friends, to my kids, and my siblings. You find strength you never knew you had, when you have to have it. 

I cry... I get scared... I scream and yell... I cuss... and I do what I have to do to save my life. It's not easy and I get so sick and so down at times. I have had times that I wasn't sure I was going to make it through all the pain. I remember calling Dr. Chamsuddin one time and I was crying like a baby and I said "I can't do this. I feel so bad I just can't do it" he replied "stick to the plan Christy" I needed to hear that.... I needed reassurance from someone with a lot more knowledge and dealings with cancer than I had. I needed him to push me and he did.

 He may have shook his head and thought why is she calling me... I called because we are a team... We have been a team in this process... He gets frustrated with me and he thinks I talk to much but in my heart I know for his own reasons he wants to save my life as much as I want him too and for that our bound in my mind is a very strong and special one. He is my friend. He is a great doctor and a great man. He cares and it's not just about me he cares about all of his patients, I am sure that most are not as in your face as I am but that's me and he knew that from the first day he met me and he still decided to treat me so that's his problem... Just kidding!  He has done amazing things and I am forever grateful to have my life back and I hope that he knows that his miracle abilities are greatly appreciated by me and so many people that know and love me. 

The morning of my daughters birthday it hit me.. The tears rolled down my face at the thoughts I had so many times that I might not have been here to celebrate my little girls 7th birthday and I was there ... I have a letter that won't get ripped up but will be saved in a special place because it's one less letter she will ever receive because I didn't make it through this horrible thing called cancer. I rejoice in knowing I am going on my 15th month 3 months longer than anyone even expected me to live and I am free of all the old tumors that were originally there trying to take my life and hoping and praying to God all the new tumors are gone and nothing new will show up since this last Y90 treatment. I have spent so much of my time anxious to have another scan in hopes to be in remission that right now I am just enjoying the nothingness of things being done and just recovering mentally, physically, and emotionally from all I have been through. Not focused on what could be but what is in the moment and that feels good. 

Don't cry for me... Pray for me... Know that through your inner strength you can do anything you set your mind to doing!  Thanks for reading and sharing my blog.