Blog #56... Little Black size 0 dress and heels.

I went for my chemo treatment  yesterday and I met with the PA before my treatment, to just go over how things are working for me.  To see if  there is anything I might be needing.  I told her again about the way the chemo puts me down for three days, a couple of days after taking the treatments and I asked if there was anything I could do to curb those symptoms. She replied I could come in on Friday mornings and have fluids, that it helps so many other patients not to have those symptoms. Here is my view on this.. I have shared these same concerns each time I meet with the PA or the Oncologist and tell them this same things over the last 5 months and why in the world would they  not have suggested that before now? It was encouraging that I can do it and it may make all the difference in the world in my life, and then it makes me mad because they could have been doing this all along for me. Why have I had to suffer through this for 5 months when I might not needed to? Especially since I am one of those patient's that is on top of my medical care and try my best to stay on top of and understand what is happening in my recovery. UGH! 

I should just be grateful to have the chance to change the way it makes me feel but I can not help being a little ticked off about this. I am fighting so hard to heal myself from this disease ... And a lot of my depression and frustration has come from me  having to spend so much time in bed recovering from chemo. I understand and can accept the procedures putting me down and out but not the chemo. I just have to count my blessings and not be bitter about any part because no matter the pain or the down time what I have been doing is working for me. And for that  I am grateful. I hope tomorrow's fluids make all the difference in how I feel and that I can have my weekends back to do the things I want to do with my little girl, and for myself when she is gone to her dad's on those weekends. 

The disease isn't easy and if I can share my story to maybe help someone else one day than it's worth the time and attention I give in sharing.

Last night ...I went to the funeral home to pay my respects to a 91 year old wonderful woman. Mrs. Garner that had been doing chemo across from me several times. A sweet lady that I barely got to know, but I felt like I had known her my whole life as it came to be that her granddaughters and I grew up together. I had chemo yesterday  and I was not feeling that well but I refused to allow that to stop me from going. I put on my new nice black Cache dress and heels, put on a little extra makeup and I felt like the old Christy Hicks. Well, the old 40 pound heavier Christy Hicks could not have fit into that dress size 0 but hey we can't have it all can we???? I like being skinny... Maybe not as skinny as I am but I hope that I can add a little more weight like Dr. Chamsuddin says and still fit into that 0 hot dress. 

Today, I feel good. I am up at work, I always smile on those days. I am not sure how I have managed to maintain my Insurance Business and continuously have grown my business this year. I think I am blessed in more ways that I can count, and even understand at times. Life is good. Life is full of mystery and surprises. It's how you face and deal with the changes in life as to how the outcome will be. 

A lot of this fight of mine has been my attitude. The attitude that I will survive. The attitude that I will not give up no matter how hard the road becomes. The attitude that I have so much to live for and for all the people that have taken the time to pray for me and the people that have taken their time to treat me during this difficult time in my life. 

Thank you all for reading my blogs and if you know someone going through chemo and having a tough time with side effects please suggest the fluids trick to them it may make all the difference in their life and recovery as well. 

Don't cry for me... Pray for me.....