Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Blog #91. Mexico Girls Trip 2015



Don't cry for me ...Pray for me. I
I'm here in Mexico at a beautiful resort on a girls trip. What we had all hoped for as my remission trip but since that hasn't happened yet it's my enjoying life trip. To be perfectly honest when this journey began I never dreamed anything like this would ever be possible for me again. Never underestimate what can happen.  

I received a call on Friday from Dr Kooby, the surgeon at Emory and he said he spoke with his colleagues in NY and that they would be interested in meeting with me. The clinical trial would require me to go to NY once or twice per month but most of the stuff could be handled at Emory. He asked if I was interested and I told him yes so he was going to have his assistant set it up and they would call me next week to get me scheduled. I told him I was having my next pet scan the week of the 25th and that I would at least like to wait until that's done before going. I also would like to discuss it with Dr Chamsuddin first too. Hopefully, I can make all that happen. I value and trust Dr Chamsuddin's opinion and to be honest I'm hoping with the new pet scan results the Cancer will be gone and there will be no need for me to go. 


It's gorgeous here. The weather has been incredible. Even though I've been stuck under an umbrella and 70 proof sunscreen sprayed all over me I'm still enjoying the breeze off the ocean and the  time of rest and relaxation I've earned each step of this way. 

I am a little sad to be away from my little girl, Evan but we have facetimed and talked everyday.  

This trip has done me a world of good. I've been able to just relax and enjoy the calmness of having to do nothing at all. To not worry about another procedure, test, chemo, or even feeling bad. I've been feeling really good on the trip. I haven't allowed myself to overdo it at all When I get tired, I go back to the room and rest by  watching television, reading, or writing my book. 

I am feeling refreshed! Everything has gone so smoothly. It's been very nice just having this time to myself. To regroup and recharge. I'm back for chemo next week and then having my pet scan the following week. I'm looking forward to  seeing  how well this last Y90 treatment has worked and I've been praying to God no new tumor's have popped up, as well as the Cancer not spreading anywhere else. I will always have that fear. It's every Cancer patients fear and nightmare. I have 3 more days of paradise and I plan to enjoy every moment of it and be so grateful to even have had the opportunity to come and enjoy this once again. 

I wish every person going through what in going through had this incredible opportunity to recharge at such a gorgeous place. 

My friends have been incredibly accommodating to me. They have been very nurturing and attentive to my needs which is also great. I had one melt down this whole time and it didn't last long. I just dont want to be the sick person. I didn't want to hold them back from anything they wanted to do. What my new life reality is now. isn't what anyone would want in life but honestly just to be alive is so much better than the alternative could ever be. I face each day with new hope and inspiration. I've overcome so much of this disease and I hope to continue to do so as long as I can. I am a fighter and as much as I hoped that I was over the end of fighting for my life I am grateful for another day to do so especially in such a beautiful place as this. Life is not certain for any of us. My life changes have lead me insuch new  directions in my future sometimes I wish I had a crystal ball to see where my future my lead for me but I don't know that I would even want to see. I've been given back so much of who I once was by the expertise of Dr Chamsuddin that I know without a shadow of a doubt that I would not be here today enjoying my life without him and his team! He took a gamble with me and in my mind it's the best gamble he ever made. So tonight I am going to have a margarita just for him. I have avoided any drinking but I feel tonight my friends and I will toast to him and his compassion and heart to help save the life of once was a stranger to me and now has become my hero and friend.  

  Don't cry for me...Pray for me. Thank you all for reading and sharing. 

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