Blog #30... Rude people, God's Grace, and Strength beyond measure

 My blog picture today is my precious grandson, Landon Reid 
(aka Lanbug) last Friday night he got the  game ball at his baseball game. He is going to be a superstar, and I can't wait for him to play professional baseball and take good care of his old grandma!


Having cancer is one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with, in my life. I can still remember the somber look on the ER Doctor's face when he told me the news. I can still remember the pain that hurt so deep, and yet in that moment I knew that I was in for the fight of my life. I had no idea where this journey was going to lead me, but I knew that I was going to beat this cancer.

Over the last several weeks, I have had some hard moments, those moments that I feared death. That I could not get my mind to wrap around the fact that I was sick, and much less could not be here to see my daughter and grandson grow up. The legacy of  my life are my two daughters and grandson. The people that I love and how they will emotionally suffer once I am gone. I spent so much time hurting for everyone else and the fears that come with this horrid disease. There wasn't a day that I did not cry, it was almost unbearable to talk about.  I have days I still get upset and now I am back on the mission of kicking this cancers ass and spreading my story to share the hope and joys of the life we have in the now, in this moment. 

I miss eating what I want, more than I could ever describe. I miss a glass of wine out with the girls on a Friday night. I miss so many things about how my life use to be. However, this is my new life. My new purpose. My new hearts desire to beat this, to spread the miracle of there is always hope and to be extremely honest with all of you about how I am feeling. I still fear dying, I will always carry some part of that fear with me, but my desire to live gets a little stronger with each day I fight this battle. I have no idea what is going to happen, I just believe that God, all of you, my family, and friends that pray for and believe in me every day has a huge part in my healing and my ability to fight this battle every single day. 

I met a mother yesterday, her daughter passed away 6 years ago from a very aggressive form of liver cancer. We sat and talked for an hour. We just shared our hearts and stories of what liver cancer means in each of our lives. The wisdom and courage she has amazed me. She is a beautiful person and her strength was something that made me feel so much better. The compassion from a stranger is something that totally melts my heart, her desire to take me on as a new friend and lend me her prayers and concern after all she personally has gone through is nothing less than amazing to me. I hope that she knows this and I can't truly wait to get to know her more. 

I go back to the oncologist tomorrow. I am not going to lie, I am afraid. I plan on hearing how great I am doing and then I have this "Traditional Medicine" fear that he might not agree this time. I should not allow myself to feel this way but honestly I can not seem to always control my mind these days, but honestly Who could?

Cancer has made me realize how precious life is.... How no matter how long we have in life we are not certain if there will even be a tomorrow. Every day that I wake up, I say "Thank You" because I am so grateful to be alive today, and every day that I have left to live. 

I look at myself in the mirror and the way my body has changed with eating healthy, and I see myself 35 pounds lighter and I look at my face that has less dark circle under my eyes, and I fit perfectly into clothes that I never dreamed I would wear again. I feel amazing. I run into people that say "You look better than I have seen you look in 10 years" I smile a huge smile. And then I run into other people that say "You have gotten to skinny. Your face looks sunk in and blah blah blah... I go back to that mirror and start questioning myself again 

It makes me angry that some people are just so stupid. First off, I never hear from those people, they never call to see how I am doing or even what I am doing. They are not the ones that know the fears I have with this disease and yet, somehow they feel entitled to voice their opinion about how I look. I just want to slap them, they make me question myself and it almost makes me want to never walk outside of my four walls so I don't have to deal with other people's opinion. Instead, I make excuses. I give them the reason and tell them I don't agree and then you know what I go home and cry. People are seriously very rude. Saying something mean to someone, does that make that person feel better about themselves? They shouldn't because honestly the people that have said it to me  should be on the same diet as me and they would look better themselves with a sunk in face instead of chubby cheeks. Just saying. I will not allow other people to get me down, they try their best. They are the devil working on me and in the long run they have their own insecurities. That is not my problem and I wake up another day, look in the mirror and I am happier with the way I look than I was the day before. I doubt they are! 


Having cancer for me isn't about just having cancer and trying to fight it, it is dealing with other people. Every one says you put yourself out there, and you should expect people to react. Well, I am not looking for pity in this disease when I share it, I expect and hope that people can find a compassion in their heart's for another human being and an understanding that really they can only really know if they were dealing with this themselves. A friend's brother was diagnosed last week and he said to me "I read every one of your blogs Christy and I  hurt for you then, but I had no idea how hurtful it was until it happened in my own family" It's very true, you will not understand this unless it happens to you to the extent of the pain it causes you and your family but I hope that through my journey I can share the good and bad days, the hurt and joy and to maybe, just maybe, make someone else's journey through this one day a little more comforting! I am happy. I feel good. I look good, I laugh a lot, I smile often. I get up with a mission of working, loving my kids and family, and beating cancer one day at a time. I get to see my daughter, Evan play softball and see the overwhelming joy on her face when she gets out on the field. I love to see her happy. I love that I can be who I am and that I will not allow cancer to take my soul and spirit. I believe that life has so much to be grateful for even in times that you are going through a hard time in life.I love meeting new people, and I enjoy all that life has to offer in a way that I never could have before now. I am humbled and grateful and appreciate each new day every new day! 



Life isn't fair, one day life is going along just fine and dandy and the next you are fighting for your life. I could as I always say, sit back and feel sorry for myself, but honestly, I am fighting way to hard to have be thinking Poor Pitiful Me... Right now, I am getting better, I feel it in my body! I feel it in my heart! If I could make my mind feel it 100% of the time then I would be PERFECT....

This is going to be a long journey, it is not and will not be a bed of roses but I know that I am loved, prayed for, cared about, and thought of often by so many people, friends and strangers alike! God hears our prayers and I know that I have just as great of a chance to me a miracle as anyone else. I am praying for and believing in God's Grace. 

Please continue to pray for me and my family. This road is bumpy and sometimes in the midst of the journey it is unbearable. I pray for strength for us all. I pray for God's Grace and I pray that I help one other person with this journey I travel. Thank you all for all the donations, cards, gifts and for being there for me with each new day! 

Don't cry for me....Pray for me! 

Post #29... Working on my happy ever after, 1 day at a time.....

It's been a while since I have posted a blog. So much has been happening in this journey and seems that I run out of time during my day to post. When I get home I try my best to be a mom and enjoy every moment I have with my little girl, Evan Raine.

Last week I had treatments 3 days in a row, and by the last treatment for the week (Thursday) I seriously was completely wiped out. I wanted so bad to call in sick, and see if they could just schedule me for Friday instead, I sucked it up, and drove my hour drive, one way to treatment!  By the time I was done with my treatment,  I was so glad that I was going to have Friday, Saturday, and Sunday off, and I could rest. 

 Friday morning I got to work, and I was still tired and felt I was needing some girl time. Just to escape my treatments, job, and mama duties, and take an afternoon to enjoy with a friend. I called my friend Tonya, and we had decided to meet for lunch at noon, and then go and watch a movie at one. I was tickled pink, I was so looking forward to going, I had a couple of hours getting caught up with work and if I snuck out of the office for a few hours of fun, I knew I deserved it. I left the office a little early as I wanted to make sure I was there on time. I was almost there and I felt and heard my tire do something a little funny, and then the tire blew out, I was lucky I had already slowed down some before that, and I was able to pull my truck off the side of the road without having any other problems. I got out, looked at my completely flat tire, and I have to be honest, I had no idea what I was going to do. The one thing I can not do is.... Change a tire. I actually called my friend Tonya I was meeting for lunch and told her what had happened, she said she would be right over there. I asked her " Do you know how to change a tire?" She said "No" We laughed. 

In the meantime... a couple had stopped and asked if I needed help, I said "Yes, I would so appreciate that" They were the nicest people, and after the husband started working on the tire, his wife and I were talking and she told me about her husband not long ago having a heart transplant. Here this caring and amazing man was after all he had personally gone through, in the heat changing my tire. The bad thing is 40-50 other cars had just passed me by and never considered stopping to help me and this man, didn't bat an eye at helping me. 

The bad thing is my spare tire was put in under my truck wrong and there was no getting it out of there. Believe me, he tried his hardest for over an hour and a half. Tonya's dad owns B&H Wrecker Service (they are awesome) in Covington, GA, and sent a tow truck to get my truck the driver Wesley, was going to get the tire out from under there  himself, he spent 30-45 minutes working on it, to no avail. He loaded my truck up, as I gave the couple and Wesley, the tow truck driver one of my shirts. The couple would not take any money, I offered, however, I got their address and plan to send them something special this week. They deserved it, they melted my heart and they are the sweetest people. Wesley, was about to drive off with my truck and handed Tonya $40 and told her to take us to lunch, I totally had tears in my eyes at the outpouring of help and compassion I received. 

My truck got towed to Tires -N- Wheels on Washington Street in Covington.  Tonya and I went to lunch and when she took me back to get my car, they told me that somehow that spare tire had been put in wrong, they fixed that and fixed the tire and I was ready to go... I asked "How much do I owe you?" (I only had $50 on me and was planning on borrowing money from Tonya until I saw her again on Sunday.)  He looked at me and said "You don't owe us anything"I cried again and went out to my truck and got two shirts to give them.  They said they would wear them and we said our goodbye's.When we got outside Tonya looked at me and said "They couldn't fix your tire and they put you on a new one" with tears once again in my eyes I said "They didn't have to do that" She said "They said that was the least they could do" I thought about all these blessings this weekend. The kindness from one stranger to another and the willingness to help someone else in need is amazing to me. 

My friend Silvia, has worked hard at planning the Zumbathon for me, as a fund raiser. I am looking forward to seeing so many people I have not seen in a while, looking forward to just enjoying the day with so many people that care about me and that are giving up time in the middle of a Saturday to come out and support me, it means so much to me!

My friend Lisa has designed, ordered, and paid for....           (Team Christy) bracelets, to help me in my journey. They are so cute and she is an amazing friend to give of her own will to me and to help me in making my journey through cancer, financially better. You can order yours at  www.Team-Christy.com

 

My friend Mimi, had my shirts designed, printed, and paid for as my fund raiser, and our second order the company donated the shirts to me, Signature Inc Printing in Greenville, SC.  They are amazing and we have sold a lot of shirts and I can't wait to see every one wearing them Saturday. You can come out to the Zumbathon on Saturday and get your shirt there or you can order online at www.Team-Christy.com

God is good. God had brought forth some of the most amazing people in my life. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. 

Tonight, my neighbor and two of her daughters came by and picked up Evan and they are walking my neighborhood to put a flyer's on everyone's mail box about the Zumbathon this Saturday.  She is so amazing, I remember the day I told her, it was at the kids school, and I was there for the ceremony for  "Jag of  the month" This is the special child in each class that is rewarded. Last year she was not it one time, and this year she was concerned she would not get it again.  It just so happened that the day I found out I had liver cancer at the hospital, she was told she was jag of the month. It was one of the most horrible days of my entire life, and one of the happiest for my daughter. Amazing how things can happen like that.  Anyways, my neighbor was sitting there at the ceremony with her two daughters and mom, she could see me crying so I pull up my first blog and handed her my phone, I could see her reading, and she hugged me, and didn't say much, but that was a shock to her too I know. Since that day she has been the best neighbor I could ever ask for, she has been doing every thing she can to raise money to help me, her love for me is so encouraging and I am so grateful to have a friend in her.  She makes me smile with her genuine care and concern for me. 

I'm just still doing treatments 3 days a week, and not much changes, no testing lately. A few weeks ago one of my cancer markers was up and the other was down. I got a little discouraged. I have no patience. And this journey is going to teach me patience, for sure.  The doc came in today and felt my liver, and said it was detracting, it was not as swollen and it felt softer!!!!  Those words were like music to my ears. I want to be cured. I do pray to God every night to spare my life. I want to live .. I want to live like I have never lived before. I want to do things that most people never consider doing, I want to give the life that I have been given to help others.  Right now, I am accepting and appreciating the help from others, but I promise you one thing, I am really trying to pay it forward  even when it is being given to me.  

I saw my traumatic counselor this week  for the first time...she asked me what I wanted her to help me with..... I told her 

To be happy every day of my mine, to appreciate every thing I can, and still prepare me for what might happen. 

It broke my heart to say those words and to even think about now, but I am realistic and I have to be open to whatever God's plan is for me.... I just know that the Grace I am being shown in life is something I have never felt before and for every single person that is giving of their time, money, prays, heart, and soul to me, you are making me a BETTER person every single day and I hope you all see my journey and see a more beautiful life in front of yourself as well. 

Remember.... Don't cry for me... Pray for me. Please keep all of those people we care for and love in our prayers every day as well. 

Post #28.... "When all you can really tell ....Is the truth!"

Sharing this journey isn't easy, writing my thoughts and feeling sometimes makes me so upset.  However,  I do it for all of you and for myself. This journey has to be shared with the world. There is hope in having cancer, there are so many other emotions as well, but there is a certain feeling of happiness I get from sharing my journey with the world! 

I am getting a little tired and worn out. I seem to always have some where to be. Liver cancer has changed me forever. It has made me the saddest and yet the most determined person I know. It has given me a new perspective on life and it has taken my soul to the deepest of despair. I do my best to have a positive attitude every day, because all I have is now in this moment, I have to be grateful of the life I have left to live and not worry about what we will if I don't make it through this. It breaks my heart into a million pieces, and the joys that I live more abundantly today and all the days left of my life, I am more grateful for. It's difficult. I could easily sit around all the time and say "What if I don't make it?" I have been told that I won't and I have been told I could have a long life. Who's right? I ponder that question late at night, alone in my bed, as I cry myself to sleep! 

I see a change in my 6 year old, with her knowing that her mama is sick and fighting hard. I don't regret telling her because she would have known anyways, I am different. I am fighting to be here and how could anyone be the same person they were before they were told they were dying? 

Treatments are going good, they really are! The Doc is trying to keep me energetic and well, he honestly feels my pain, because he has taken my life in his hands, and I am sure this is something that weighs heavy on his mind all the time, as it does mine. This journey is full of mysteries and hopefully miracles. It isn't easy to overcome the obstacles I face on a daily bases but... I do it. Because I want to live. I want to see Evan and Landon grow up, I want to be the person that has something to tell the world. I want other people to believe that alternative medicine has a place in healing cancer, because at the end of the day most people are truly not interested in something that could make a difference other than chemo, radiation, and surgery. I want to be a miracle I want to heal my body the natural ways and to know that I can make a difference in the lives of so many others that are as skeptical as I was originally. When I first got sick, my boyfriend instantly went online, looking for alternative medicine treatments. I was not open, I said "I am going to do chemo there is no way in hell I would do alternative treatments. For God sake, Steve Jobs did alternative treatments and he died" That was honestly my opinion. I was not open in the slightest. But with each Oncologist I saw, and the diagnose getting worse and worse for me, I started to open my mind. I had to make the choice to go the alternative route because honestly I had no chance at survival with chemo, 4 out of 5 doctors told me that, I had to open my mind and think about the future. I had to think about how I wanted to live the next 12 months of my life, sick and taking chemo, or feeling good and giving it my best shot naturally to save my life. I chose LIFE!! 

I have no idea what tomorrow brings. I just know that I have been giving this disease my best shot at battle and I am hoping that I will not be defeated. I could easily feel defeated now. I am so afraid, there are no words to describe my fear. It is there all the time, and it's up to me to talk myself out of being upset, sad, and afraid. I have moments where I fall apart and then I pick myself up, dust myself off, and move forward with my day! 

Cancer Sucks... It is such a horrible disease. I have spent my life not thinking about what certain things would do to my body, and now I am totally consumed with it. I know a lot of people have really began to change their own ways of life because of me, it's assuring and it's hopeful that the world isn't going to always be so much about the easy food (that is extremely unhealthy for us) and more open to eating healthy and avoiding such complications as I am facing in my own life. 

This week I start seeing a traumatic counselor, someone that works with people all the time facing the fears and uncertainties that I am now facing! I need it, I had gotten really bad for a couple of weeks and just wanted to cry and be down 24 hours a day. I was mad and uncertain that I wanted to face each new day because I am one of those kind of people that is an overachiever and hates to fail at anything. I can't fail at this... And I have been putting way to much pressure on myself, to the point I am not sleeping good, worried all the time, and fearful. It's going to be more money I have to spend but I know to fight this with all my might I have to keep my head on straight! Cancer isn't about the place in the body you have it, it is about how it makes your mind and heart feel. It affects every thing about you. 

I want to be well, I have to be well. I want to know that I can make it through this and can spend the rest of my life helping others to see how they can make it through this as well. This road is long, as short as I would like for it to be it's long and very hurtful! But, it's all roads in life full of bumps and potholes?

Over the weekend,I met a guy working in a candy store. He asked me "Why didn't you get something in here for yourself" I told him I had cancer, and that I was fighting for my life and each healthy, he asked me a lot of questions about the things I was doing. I thought he must know someone with cancer himself. He does, his mom. She had breast cancer, and did traditional chemo and radiation, and they got it all, but now it has spread to her colon, and she is doing nothing about it, he is trying to convince her to try alternative medicine options and she refuses, he actually left her in his house in TX and has moved away because he could not stand to see her dying each day! I gave him my website and my email address and told him I would like for us to share information and wondered if his mom would be willing to talk with me... He said he would be in touch. 

Stuff like this breaks my heart, because I will never give up fighting, not a day that I have a breath in me to breath I will not give up. I can't then cancer would win, and I won't let it win without my best shot at fighting for the most valuable thing in this world to me ... My Life!!!!

I go back to the oncologist on May 1st, I am looking forward to that meeting. I am looking forward to hearing him say how good I still look. I need that. I need reassurance in this vulnerable time in my life, and I hope that you all know how grateful I am for all the love, support, and tenderness you have shown me in this most difficult time in my life. Life is so worth living. Each day isn't a promise of tomorrow, but it certainly another chance at having the best life you can possibly have. 

Blog #27.... """""Cancer markers, Closed doors, and New Beginnings"""

The Most Amazing People....

     On this journey... I have met some of the most amazing people. The people that can never possibly know how much their love, support, prayers, and friendship's means to me. I have been lifted up by people more times than I care to count. I've cried, laughed, and prayed with people from all over the world that believe in me and my cure!

Believe that without a doubt that I can make it through this .. That I can over come liver cancer, that I can come out the other side of this disease and be a happy person once again. 

Cancer is no joke. The words that no one ever wants to hear, they still yell through my mind every single day. 2 months and 8 days later. I cry, my family cries. We cry for the unknown, not because we are not positive about this disease being taken out of my life, but the unknown my friend is the scariest thing in the world. So many people tell me I have to be positive,  let me give you my cancer, and let me then tell you to be positive.  It's that whole shoe on the other foot thing, that doesn't feel like you thought it might feel. 

I was hoping my cancer markers were back today, no such luck. The blood work had not come back yet. I spent most of the weekend anxious to see the numbers today and when I got there and they weren't  back, I was disappointed. To live by your blood work stinks, I hate worrying about whether or not they are going down, I wish like hell I never had this crap. I hate it with  all the passion in my heart and soul. I hate fighting for my life. I hate the unknown. I hate the way cancer changes your life. It completely turns it upside down and makes every thing you once thought you knew, seem like a distant memory of happier days. 

I know one thing. I am stronger than I thought I was, and better than I ever knew I could be. My dedication to myself is beyond what I could have ever given myself credit for. I changed to save my life, and not looked back one single time.  Throughout the last 2 months I have been on this strict diet, I had already told everyone, Easter is my cheat day. I am going to eat whatever I want to eat and I am not going to feel bad.  This Sunday is Easter, and I am not going to eat what I want to eat, I am going to eat what I need to eat to save my life. It's not about a day of what will satisfy me, it's about the LONG run, it's about my daughters 16th  birthday (and she is almost 6 now). It's about all the tomorrow's and  the days after tomorrow that matter to me, not Honey Baked Ham, and potato salad. I want to live. I have dedicated myself to my health. I am working hard at it, and giving it my all!

I know the person I am. I am good with the life that I have lived, the way I have treated people, don't get me wrong I have hurt some people in my life, but I have made my amends for that, sometimes, it's too late to take back and change the damage we have done, but if you are sorry, that is all you are left to face with, you can not deal with the damage of someone else. 

My life has not always  been easy. Nothing has really come easy for me, I have worked for every thing I have. I am stronger for it. My mama taught me to stand on my own two feet, she did not have the money to spoil us, didn't have the money to send us to college, to give us the opportunities that most kids get in life, and you know what, I turned out pretty damn good, if I say so myself. All the strength in life has lead me to this disease to battle and I am holding my head high, sharing my journey, and not pretending any thing about my life, I live the truth. That is all any of us can expect of ourselves as well as others to do. 

I would do anything to rid my body of this disease .. To wake from this nightmare and be a new person. But right now I am wide awake, and I am facing the unknown, it seems like this black hole of uncertainty that I face, and the longer I travel this journey the stronger I am becoming. I have no choice but to accept my fate in life, none of us do. I just know that I want my life to mean something, not only to my kids, family, and close friends, but to people that live life and need a reason to believe and a reason to hope that things get better. Things always get better, they may not stay that way long, but it's the journey of life we travel and all face at certain points in all  our lives.  Tomorrow... may never come for me, or for any of us. Tomorrow isn't something you should count on, and when I get into my moments of being down that is the one thing that truly reminds me to live in the moment and to appreciate what I have instead of what I might not have later in life. 

I fight this battle that I can't see, don't use my arms, legs, or  feet, I just use my mind, to overcome the realization of the uncertainty. I have bad days, really bad days but the one thing I don't do is give up, I have not once spent a day in bed hiding under the covers ... I have gotten up every single day worked, and done what I have to do to live my life, to keep some sense of normalcy to this new un-normal life I have. 

I had someone hurt me deeply today, a pain that was sharper, harder, and deeper than it would have if I wasn't fighting for my life every single day. And you know I am good with it .. I closed a chapter that had been written, rewritten, whited out, and played for make believe for many years. I gave it my tears,  as I made my decision that my life is more important to me than it was to that person. That's a realty check, for sure.  I feel good, and I will not look back, I spent way to many years overlooking and pretending. Done! 

So let me end with saying, every story has an ending... and every new story has a brand new beginning! 

Thank you are for reading, sharing, and praying for me. I feel great still, I am getting better every day and other than my fears of the unknown, I know I am beating this monster, called cancer, every day! 

Blog #26.... { Unexpected and Amazing Blessings }

There are some things that can just totally melt your heart. Especially, when it comes to kids.  My neighbor Kristy, called me a week ago and was telling me about her oldest daughter(that's in middle school) had worn my "Team Christy" shirt to school, and she has been collecting money from her friends to buy one too. I thought that was the sweetest thing for middle school kids wanting my shirts, it made me feel so good. 

This afternoon, I was coming back into the neighborhood from doing errands, I pulled over and sat there with them most of  the afternoon as they were having a yard sale. The weather was perfect and I sat in the shade enjoying the day with my friend and her precious three daughters.  I had not noticed when I walked up, the table they had at the beginning of the driveway, and the "Team Christy" shirt laying on the table, with a note, asking for donations for their friend and neighbor, between the donations jar and the pre-sold T-shirts those 3 precious girls had collected $82 for me. I wanted to cry, I was completely blown away at their kindness and compassion. They are amazing. My friend Kristy, says since they found out I was sick, they have been so worried about me, and talk about me all the time It's one of the most amazing feelings, ever. I know these three girls have learned a lot more about life, and cancer itself, going through this journey with me. 

They are amazing and I know in my heart that they learned a lot about giving at their young ages, and that is one of the greatest things we could really teach our children. Compassion and doing for others is almost as old fashion as cornbread but they both are still so good and have just as much meaning as the days you use to take a cake over to welcome a new neighbor.  I have tears in my eyes as I sit here and write this blog right now.  

The world is a better place than I have allowed myself to see in a very long time. I use to focus on the things that people didn't do, and now through this I as well as my family, we focus on the things that people do and forget about the things that others don't! Going through this has taught me some very valuable lessons in life, some have stabbed me to the bone and some have melted my heart as if it were a stick of butter. I want more than anyone for this cancer to be cured, gone, and never to be a part of my life ever again. I feel so good, and I know that what I am doing is working. There are some people that are skeptical of my "Alternative Treatments:" I get it, especially if you have no idea what treatments I am doing. 

I bought a machine about 1.5 months ago, it's a machine that sits on top of a gallon of purified nice water, from Walgreen.  This machine sits in the water and it takes about 5-6 hours to do it's thing, and get the water at the correct colloidal silver amounts in the water, I mix Zija in with the water, and I drink 24 oz of this a day. I have about 10 different supplements that I take 2 of twice per day. I sit in the infered sauna at 140 degrees, for 20 minutes everyday, I go to treatments at "The Genesis Center" in Cumming, GA, and I go fasting because the treatments work much better if you fast, So it's a given I starve until I am done. It's a sacrifice . I go for treatments there  3 times per week, and get IV Vitamin C with a few other things mixed in, while I have a heat lamp on my liver laying down for 1.5 hours while I am getting the IV, and I get 1 shot of Vitamin D once a week. I soak in baking soda baths 3 times a week. I eat clean and I drink 8 drops of peroxide in a cup of water every day. 

I know this all sounds like a lot. It's now a "new way of life" for me. It's a routine. I try my best to stay on a schedule and to not  get off of it, at all. There are so many people that wanted to know all the things I am doing! For a while, I didn't want to tell it all, because I didn't want people thinking I am insane. I have checked with the alternative doctor and my oncologist and they both said everything I am doing...is okay! So there you go. I am going to list the information for the colloidal silver machine, Zija which I have the greatest person to hook you up with if you are interested, I know all ingredients in this little package is a huge part of my feeling good, and in healing my body. Also I am attaching a link to "The Genesis Center" If you have any questions about any of these things please do not hesitate to email me at.... christysellsinsurance@gmail. I would love to answer any of your questions......

http://thegenesiscenter.com/

http://www.collgen2.us/

http://drinklifein.com/product/supermix

Information is knowledge and knowledge can also save your life. I hope with an open mind and heart about my treatments this all  may be something you or someone you may know, will need for your own lives. I highly recommend every one and every thing that has been working in my treatments of kicking cancers ass. This is about dedication, determination, and a new way of life. It isn't easy but it's worth making it in the life that you want and deserve! 

I have totally changed my way of thinking, as well as my entire way of life, and I feel better than I have in many years!  Don't cry for me...Pray for me....I hope you will learn to be as open minded as I have learned to be... 

Blog #25....Determination, Dedication, and Destiny's

This journey of cancer has taught me a lot of things. A lot about myself and a lot about others. You see the people standing by your side day in and day out of this journey, and you feel the love and comfort that they give to you, and it's amazing! 

When I was first diagnosed, and a few weeks afterwards,  I was upset with some people, the people that have always known and even expected me to rally around them when things have gone wrong in their lives, and I never disappointed them. They have certainly not been the friend to me that I had always been to them. I'm good with that. I will not be the person they once knew, I am forever changed by a disease that opens my eyes to a new world and makes you face things at face value.

 This is something you will never know or understand until you are faced with the heartaches that I have been dealt over the last 2 months. Sometimes, I want to call them and ask "Why, don't you call me? Is my friendship not important to you anymore? Do you not call because it hurts you to think that I might not make it through this?" With that being said....  I would say, you don't call because you don't want to call me, you have all the time in the world to post pictures of your kids, your status updates on facebook , I see 15 times a day, and if you think this disease is hurting you, try being me for a day. From day one every one has been saying how strong I am, they are right. I am very strong, I can tell you this fight isn't for wimps, it isn't just about getting  medicine, it's about not eating every single thing that I love, it's not ever smoking a cigarette or having a glass of wine with dinner. It isn't easy as I have changed every single thing about my life. I  had to do it. There WAS  no choice. I would cry when I would have lunch or dinner with people and they would eat cheese dip, bread and lots of butter, and other things in front of me. I would never say anything but I would go home and cry my eyes out. I wanted those things and in the beginning it hurt me that they had done that to me. But, I realized my disease isn't about them. It isn't an excuse for me to be upset. They are allowed to have whatever they wanted to eat. So I got over that fast.... and never said a word to anyone but my brother and sister that had to sit there and listen to me cry! There are so many things that go through my mind that I never say anything about.  I won't either.  I have a friend that called yesterday that said she can not even go through the clothes I gave her of Evan's for her daughter, that it hurts her to bad. I  told her to not waste the clothes. I am going to make it and if she waste time her daughter will grow out of them too! 


Even the waitress at lunch today said "OMG!  If I had blood drawn it would be pure Dr. Pepper. If I was told I could not have it I don't think I would or could give it up" Isn't that what most people feel? Not me, If I were not this sick I would have probably never changed my diet either, and that is being completely honest. I love all the things all of us love. I miss every thing and I face it every day I ride by McDonald's cause I still want a Big Mac and a large fry with a coca cola, and boy don't they have the best one's around? 

 But I resist, not because I want to... but, because I am forced to  in this venture to save my life. I want to live and living isn't about a Big Mac, pizza, cup of coffee, or a big bowl of ice cream, for me life is about living and breathing and being with my family as long as I have to be with them.  Cancer loves sugar! Cancer feeds on sugar, carbs turn into sugar, and sugar feeds your cancer, and allows it to continue to grow.

 I will no longer be the reason for my disease. I am a one person army fighting like hell to rid this all from my body and I am determine to win. I will be the first person to say "I NEVER BELIEVED IN ALTERNATIVE TREATMENTS" But let me tell you this, I have not only changed my mind, but I hope to change every one I can come into contact with mind's about how this works. I am not a pushy person, I will lay the facts out on the table for you, but I will not force myself on you! It's a personal choice, and for me it was:

CHEMO +SICK+ NO QUALITY OF LIFE=Die in 12 months          OR

Alternative Medicine+Build my immune system+ Fight cancer with unharmful things to my body+ FEELING GREAT EVERYDAY = LIFE 

There was no other choice to make here.  I listened to all of my choices, I went from place to place with an open mind, I was hopeful on both sides of the decisions to be made, but I just know that the choices I made had to be my choices, I had no other person to turn to to make the decisions. I always thought Chemo was the miracle cure, it would just take it completely out of my body and heal me, and I would live happily ever after, not in my case. I don't deny there are a lot of people that have done good with chemo and survived and God bless them. I was told I would not! 

Life is about our choices, the roads we chose to travel and the roads we leave behind. I want to make the right choices, and in my heart and soul as I travel this alternative treatment road, I believe I have made the best possible choices for me and my family. 

I'm at a good place. I have settled some tough things in my mind, and as I have settled into the new me, I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will be a better person than I was. I will no longer let people that never deserved my feelings to ever have them again. And I know what loving someone is all about and it has nothing to do with parties, expensive presents, or paying for someone's dinner. A friendship is about being there when the chips are down, the person is feeling defeated, scared, afraid, and uncertain. The people standing by your side through those times of life, are your true friends, with true friends like that who needs all those fake ones. 

I made a lot of money over the years, and I lived a very good life. I had any thing my heart desired, the problem is that I bought every thing I wanted, I never looked at the future and what could happen, and how life can totally change on a dime. Over the last 6 years, as I was short selling my big nice house, and down sizing every thing, and I cried over a lot of spilled milk in those days. I had a miracle that came along during those times as well, I had my little Evan Raine, she was the bright spot in it all. She was the one I would go home to... that was always happy to see me, a gave me such hope and encouragement for the future. Over the last 2 years I opened my Insurance Agency and it has been abundant with people for me to help insure and save them money. I have worked my fingers to the bones over the last two years! Without my job, my brother, my friends and donations I would never be on this road of healing myself. I would be forced to just let the cancer continue to grow because traditional medicine would have killed me a lot faster than doing nothing at all about it. 

NOTHING last forever. Absolutely nothing does. Never count your chickens before they hatch, never think "NEVER" because sometimes never comes whole lot faster than you can even imagine.  Life is short and love is ever lasting. A hug is worth more than a hundred dollars and life is worth living every single day. The times when things in your own life might be falling apart, know that you too can make it through anything. Forget about the  the small things and  quit stressing over them. Allow yourself to see the beauty in the things you have never seen before and know that even on the worst days, there will be much better days to come. 

Give of  yourself to the people that will give of themselves to you.  It's sometimes very hard to see through the smoked glass to see who will be there for you, and once the smoke clears you might be surprised as I have been... who is standing there looking you in the mirror. 

The outpouring of prayers, donations, and people just contacting me every day is amazing. Sometimes we might cry together, or we may even laugh. It's something that I can only share with you as a individual and you with me. 

Today, at treatment my doctor said "I was the healthiest cancer patient he has! " I felt like he told me I had won the MEGA MILLION'S... I actually did it just wasn't in money! I use to think money was the most important part of my life and now I realize it's
MY HEALTH!  Boy, it's certainly the very most important part of each of our lives. I hope through my journey and blogs I have encouraged you to think more of yourself and to take better care of the one life we are all given. 

Don't cry for me... Pray for me!   I am fighting and praying and hope you will do the same!  

Blog #24 "Messages in a bottle"

It's spring break week for my daughter this week,  long before getting sick, my family (as always) planned on getting together and spending a few days at my brother's house in Dayton, FL. We came down on Saturday and we've just been hanging by the pool for the last couple of days, we woke this morning to cloudy dark skies. I hate that, as today is the day we all decided to go to the beach together. 

I have a plan, every one of us  has brought their "Team Christy" shirts and I want this picture of us all together. I don't care if we all are getting poured on, this picture has to be taken. I wish Sam and Lanbug, (my daughter and grandson) could have came with us too. But, Sam started a new job a few months ago and there was no way she could take off work. Hopefully next time, they can. 

Last night my niece, Georgia and nephew Jimbo, were full of questions about my cancer. They are twins, and almost 8 years old. I can still remember the day they were born, I waited for those babies to get here for so long, and I have loved them every single second of their lives. They are the sweetest little kids. Georgia was standing there when I was taking out all my pills from their bottles, that I had  take before I went to bed last night. She looked so surprised at how many I had to take. She looked at me and said "Christy, you have liver cancer right?" With a huge tears in my eyes I said "Yes, Georgia I have liver cancer" She then said "You think positive Christy, and it is going to be just fine" I smiled. Then my nephew Jimbo chimed in "Christy, who was the first person with cancer? Why did they have to make cancer? Does God have cancer?" I didn't really have the answers to give him, I didn't want to make up a lie to make these young sweet kids feel better. So, I asked my sister to answer them instead ...She said, she didn't know. She just knows it's a bad disease. 

I told Georgia, make sure to always love and take care of your mama, she sat there a second, she knew what that meant, even at 8 years old she is afraid that I am going to die. She said "Christy, I don't know what I would do, if you weren't here, because life really won't be worth living without you here" Those words broke my heart into a million pieces, just as it is in this moment. I have always been there, every birthday, fourth of July, Easter, Christmas, Thanksgiving. I have always been there for them and the thought of them celebrating without me breaks my heart. I want to live .. God knows I want to live. I never want to hurt the people that love me, and unfortunately we don't get that choice to make. That is one of the things that sucks the most about life,  this isn't just about me, this is more about all these people that love me, and I hate the thought of them hurting. I hate it so much, every time I think of it I cry! I can not help myself. 

What more can I do ...to prove how much, I am worth the rest of my life? How can anything happen to me when so many people need me, and love me? Sometimes, I get so angry, I want to scream at the top of my lungs and beg God to let me live. The hard part about this whole thing is the UNKNOWN.... 

I hate the unknown, I hate waiting. I was never good with surprises, never liked them one little  bit. And now I don't control my future. I don't know where the future leads me. I just know I am fighting for my life. I am doing all the things I am told to do.My whole life has been turned upside down and I can not do anything but move full force ahead. I've known I have cancer,for 2 months and 2 days and in my mind and heart it feels so much more like 10 years. There are no words to tell you how much I hurt for the people that love me. 

I decided while I was here on vacation, I was going to take the time to write every one in my family a letter. I must admit it is so much harder than I thought it would be. I sat down the first night and got through page three to my brother, and I just couldn't write another sentence. It's not something I want to do, but it is something I have to do. I want to say all the things in those letters that I might not get the chance to say one day. I love my family and I want them to know ultimately that the choices I have made in my treatment for cancer, have been mine. I want them to know hand in hand we have fought the hardest battle. This isn't something I have or ever will go through alone, my family and close friends have been with me every step of this horrible journey. My brother and sister do their best not to show me their pain, they don't have to, I see it on their faces. I just want them to be happy. I want and need them to understand life isn't going to end when my life ends. I know that they have to go one for all these kids ...for the lives that we each have created.  These letters I am writing, I hope will help them through their pain, the chance to read my words, and be able to feel my heart all around them anytime they feel down, or just need to feel some comfort from me. I am hoping and praying to God every day that they are never given these letters. Because that means I will beat this monster. I want that more than anything I have ever wanted in my life. I am going next week to seal them in bottle's ... Messages in a bottle that they can take out and put back in where they will forever remain safe and secure from the world, for only their eyes to read. 

Life is tough, the one certainty of life, is death. Never forget that!  Life can be so unfair sometimes. So cruel, and yet, through life and happiness and the years that go by and every thing seems perfect, be grateful for those times in life that are the best. The best are always yet to come, there are cloudy days, and there are the brightest days, it's what you do with each of those days that really matter. Cloudy days are the days we are challenged in our strength and faith in life. We are always challenged and most people feel that when the clouds come it's the end of the world, it's not it's time to refocus, regroup and get into change mode ... 

I have a good life. I know that I have been given opportunities in my life that most could only wish for. I have had a GREAT life so far, and I believe that I can beat this stupid cancer, I just need all of your love, support, strength,and prayers.I never dreamed in a million years, this would be my life, but it is.

I am dealing with this the very best I can, sometimes I cry, sometimes I am afraid, and sometimes I know without a shadow of a doubt that I can beat this. My emotions run all over the place, on a daily basis, and I know every one says for me to be positive. How much more positive can I be with a traditional medicine diagnosis of  death?  I am not believing that, I just wish I knew how long of a life I had left to live? I could sit around and worry about that all day long, I fight that fear and I live, I live every day! I hug my sweet Evan Raine, every day as much as I can, I do my treatments, I work, and I try my best to fight off my fears. You can't expect a miracle from someone that is fighting of their life as much as I am. I am honest about things, I don't put on this face to the outside world, and live deep within myself afraid,I am just me, honest, caring, and always sharing my story. I want my girls and family to know how much I have fought to be here to be with them. It's not easy. It's not an easy thing not knowing from test to test where this cancer is leading itself, in the right or wrong direction. It's always the most frightening days when my blood work comes back and the doctor sits down with me and explains where things are looking on my cancer markers. 

Today...is going to be a good day,rain or shine,  the beach, my family and the spending time and making memories with the people I love with all my heart and soul. It's going to be a day full of memories, and I can't wait for the day to begin when everyone gets up and we get going !  

Know that I am good, I still feel really really good, I am not sick, I am not anything but a woman that is fighting for her life with every single pill and treatment that I take. I am not going down without a fight and know that even though this is the hardest fight that I have to fight, I am winning. I will win regardless because I have given it my all, I have fought the battle of my life, and whether I come out one side or the other, I hope that I give comfort to someone else facing the same thing and give them the strength to do what they have to do to make it through this, themselves. 

Be strong in whom you are. Believe that you can do anything, and endless possibilities are all around you. 

Don't cry for me... Pray for me.I want my girls and family to always know that I have given my all to this obstacle and I never want them to second guess what they could have done for me. That have loved me unconditionally. When I first was told I had cancer, I had the doctor in the ER call my brother, because I just couldn't tell him. It hurt me so bad and I knew the pain those words would cause him. After the doctor handed me the phone back he said "I could not understand your brother" I knew why, his heart was broken as was mine. When I got back on the phone he said he would call me back. He had to get his composure I knew that before he talked to me.  He called back in a few minutes and said "You are my best friend,I can't lose you. You are the best person I have ever known in my entire life" That made the pain worse but my heart melted because those are words that would make anyone feel special and loved. I felt the knife go through my heart that day and as soon as I left the hospital my family rallied around me and they have been my rocks through this journey. I have not always made the right choices, but God made the right choices for me to have the best brother and sister in the world. I am a LUCKY woman~ !!!

Blog #23... "A mama never wants to let her child down"

A mother's biggest fear......

 Unfortunately, with me having cancer, going through treatments 3 days a week, working full time, and my sweet little Evan playing softball, I seem to always think I'm going to  forget something. Today, I posted all the pictures of the people I love most in this world! I would love for you and every one you know to be praying for all of us. Pray for strength and healing and PEACE. Cancer hurts the whole family not just the person with the horrible disease! 

Last night at Evan's game, I started wondering if it was my night to bring snacks, I started  to really panic. I never want to let my daughter down, much less the other kids on the team! 

After the game, I looked around and saw no one with snacks to hand out, and I got so upset with myself. I just knew it was my day to bring the snacks and I had to be the one, because who else could forget that?. (I know you are thinking to yourself, I have a good excuse to have missed my turn, but honestly, I don't think like that.) I am a person that always follows through with everything, and takes the bull by the horns and runs with it. These days I am on overload with my mind, and I don't want to forget anything I am suppose to be doing. 

The snack schedule was at work, and as soon as I got in this morning, I looked, just knowing in my mind that I had messed up. When I looked at yesterday's date, it wasn't my name on the schedule and I felt such a sense of relief. I was actually going to take cupcakes to all the girls tomorrow night at practice to make up for missing the snacks last night, because I felt that I should and now I think I will just take them because I can. 

Going through all that I am going through isn't easy. I want to give everything 100% and to be perfectly honest, I just can't. I am not a homebody kind of person, and these days I wish that I could be, I know that I go more than I should. We all do. It's our obligation and commitments in life that keep us on the road. When I signed Evan up for softball, I had never dreamed that I would be diagnosed with cancer, and yet even if I had been, I would have still signed her up. Cancer can not affect my daughters life the way it is affecting mine. I really try to do all the things I have always done.  The other night we were at a party and a friends little boy was being funny and said something to me, Evan snapped her head around and said "You stop, my mama is sick... Leave her alone" It brought tears to my eyes. She knows that things are not right with me, she doesn't know that every day I am fighting to save my life, but she knows I have cancer, and that every day I am getting better. 

This disease is horrible. It takes the core of my soul and twist and turns it into several emotions every day. I had treatment again yesterday. This week I am only doing two treatments, Tuesday and Friday!  The doctor is out on spring break vacation. I like doing Monday, Wednesday's, and Friday's... but honestly I have two days in a row off this week, and I am excited about getting some things at work caught up and just have the opportunity to catch my breath a little bit. 

My treatments are still going good. All of my supplements got changed last week because the blood test that was done in Greece, required different types of supplements in helping to get rid of my cancer. I also orders a infer red sauna tent, which is a treatment that I will be doing at home 7 days a week, where I sit in this tent in 140 degree heat for 15-20 minutes.  I love anything warm. But considering it's beginning to get hot outside maybe I should take a cold shower first and then get in it. Wonder if that would work?

This morning, I received the sweetest message on Facebook, one of my neighbors bought 4 shirts and gave me $200, earlier in the week. I told her I could not take the money and she refused to take it back, it made me cry, and I am so thankful.  I plan to pay it forward as I gave Evan's teacher at school one yesterday for free, because she is taking her free time in the afternoons to help Evan with her sight words and reading and refuses to take any money from  me. A kind gesture for a kind gesture. Anyways, the message I got on Facebook was from my neighbor that bought the shirts, she said her oldest daughter is going around school, and selling my T shirts, getting the sizes and money to help me out. I thought that was so amazing, it melted my heart. A beautiful girl with an amazing heart, we should all be so lucky to have such a wonderful child, as my friend has. 

I go back to see my oncologist Dr. Ballard at Piedmont on May 1st. I hope that he see's so much improvement in me as we are all hoping for. I don't know if he will order another pep scan on that day, or maybe even a CT Scan to see how the lesions on my liver are doing. I know by then I will be ready to see the successes of my efforts and treatments I have been doing. I am very happy with how I feel and how I look. I think that my health is diffidently headed in the right direction. I know there are some people that don't believe in alternative medicine. The listen to what the traditional doctors say and are closed minded about anything outside of what they suggest. I have to say that I think that is a shame. There are chances of survival that so many people have never considered, would never consider, and maybe the should have. I am giving my body the best of everything I have to fight with to beat this, and through that alone, it's more than I can hope for and believe in to recover from this horrible disease. I have no idea what the future holds, I just know what I am doing now has a better chance at my future than the chemo and radiation that was originally offered to me, that could maintain my life. I want to live. I want to grow old, have gray hair, learn to knit, and play bridge. I want all the things out of life that so many of you want, and that simply is just to live another day. 

I hope that through my journey you take my messages and do what you can in your own life to make changes. Give when you are not required to do so. Think about others more, especially the people that mean something in and to your life. It's easy to get ourselves wrapped up in our own lives and never spend much time looking outside of the box at the people around us, that we could spare a kind word or gesture to that could make all the difference in their lives.  

Life is worth living. Life has so many blessings that we actually let them pass us by without given them any attention or justification. We all should do better at being a better person and friend.