I have all the faith in my doctor. He is an incredible man, and regardless of which direction I went in this journey searching for a cure, he was there for me to talk to and to guide me in my journey. When we decided a few weeks ago to do the Y-90 treatment and I made the commitment to the procedure, he asked me "Why did you wait so long, Christy? We should have done this a long time ago!" I agreed with him. But honestly ....I was afraid, I wanted to search all avenues and as I went along this journey each doctor told me something different. Several did not believe in the chance that I am taking with this procedure. Their only choice for me was chemo and maybe extend my life, a year. This option has a chance at much more time, maybe it will heal me, or maybe it will just extend my life by several years, for me both of those choices are better than the choices the other doctors have given to me.
I hope this works. But, I have made the commitment to do whatever I can to give myself more time and if I were to die trying than I know and every one else will know, I gave this the best shot I had. I tried everything and I didn't take the easy road (as I never do) I went out fighting this disease the hardest and best that I can. I have made all my treatment choices on my own. I never want anyone to say I wish I would have told her this or that. There is no reason for a soul to ever think about it that way because I have chosen the paths I have taken and I am okay with them. I want to live but if I do die... I know one thing. I am a fighter more than I ever knew I could be. I have stood up to this disease and faced it for all that it is... as much as I hate it. I have had fear in my heart and pain that could never be described at times.. But for the most part I have fought and had my families hands to hold through this journey and all of you that have followed my journey and cheered me on all the way through. I feel so blessed. God knows I could not have made it without all the love and support I have received. I hope that my testimony will never be about the hard working woman that fought for her life. I hope my testimony will be that I gave this disease my best shot, taught some people about love and happiness along the way, and brought together people that may have never met for the common good of another person in need of love and compassion.
I don't have a crystal ball... but ,what I do have is faith, love, hope, and inspiration to come out of this on the other side and be the best person I can be and to show the world that you have to fight for your life sometimes, take chances, and believe in people that have given you their all to make you better. Miracles happen every day. I just want my miracle to be to live as long as I can live and to feel as loved and cared for as I do in these times of my life that I have needed it the most.
I think that everyone deserves peace in their lives and in times like this it's hard to find those peaceful days, I am just living in the all the peaceful moments I can find.
Thursday... is a HUGE day for me and my family and I ask each and every one of you to be praying for all of us at 9:00 that morning and to know that I am grateful for all that each of you have given to me in your own special ways. Your generosity, compassion, donations, cards, sweet comments, and prayers are more than I could have ever asked or hoped for!
Life is a journey none of us know when our personal journey will end, I just know that if you believe in miracles than anything is possible.
I wanted to share my family photo's we had done with all of you. These people are my rocks. My heart. My soul. My reason to believe!
My doctor says I will be down and out for a couple of weeks after the procedure I hope that I bounce right back the next day, but if I don't post for a little while just keep praying harder and harder for me. I don't want to be tired and sick, and unfortunately I have to get tired and sicker to get better. As senseless as that sounds, I am doing what I can to beat this monster so please keep us in all in your thoughts and prayers.
Don't cry for me....Pray for me!
Praying for you
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