I know how you do this all, you pray, you believe, and you never lose hope that there is always a chance at anything we face. I have my moments of despair that I break down in tears, and once I have cried, I pick myself up and I find that extra push to keep going, to keep believing, and to know that I have no other choice in this life than to stay at my most positive and inner determination to overcome all that I am facing.
I had no idea the morning I went to the hospital that CANCER would be upon my life. I had no idea that my life would be forever changed. That the life that I once knew would require me to not only change so many directions my life but to find a inner peace that I can and will overcome this.
I fear the unknown, but as long as I am breathing on this earth I will fight the battle as hard and as mighty as I can. I wish there was some magic pill I could take to make all of this go away, I even wish this were a nightmare and I woke up to the new person, I am today. However, there isn't so I have no choice but to fight and fight hard.
I am scared to death, as anyone would be in my position. But I believe, I believe that I have so much more to do and share in this world and I BELIEVE that I can overcome this.
As I go today for my pet scan which is the tell all of where all the cancer is in my body, I have been begging God, to make this an easy day for not only me but for my friends and my family. This is a tough time in all of our lives. The times of uncertainty but mainly of unionity! I am loved. I know I am loved! This journey of cancer is unlike anything I have ever known before. It's melted my heart with love and compassion from so many, and it's ripped out my heart and soul to the core of who I am. I'm not the only person in the world that has faced this disease some have won and some have lost the battle and it's a battle that scares everyone you love and that loves you!
The answers for me are coming, I am getting the best advice and planning of this attack from the best hospital's and doctor's we can find. We are giving this disease the best run for it's money and I hope that I cross the finish line in victorious abundance.
Thank you all for reading, for praying, and for thinking of me and my family. We are as close as any brothers and sisters could be. They are my rocks, my life, and my world, and without them, I would never be the person that I am today.
DON'T CRY FOR ME..... PRAY FOR ME!!!
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