Today, is a good day! I went for my alternative treatment this morning. I had been a little worried over the weekend because I was having some real pain Saturday & Sunday in my rib on my right side. I was worried about my liver and wondering why it would be hurting. I am no doctor, but I knew there was something going on with me. I waited to say anything to anyone until this morning, when I saw the doctor, I don't like worrying anyone.
So, when I went in for treatment the nurse said the doctor had ordered more blood work. It worried me a little. I had just gotten my blood work on Friday when he was out of the office, and the numbers looked good to me, I began to wonder if I had missed something. I sat there that hour with my friend Mary, and every time I saw the nurse I asked if the doctor was going to go over the blood work with me from last week and if he would explain to me why he was ordering more, she kept reassuring me, that he would. I am totally on top of my health and my blood work, I review it from each time it is taken to make sure every little test and number is getting better. I will be an expert by the time all of this is finished.
Finally, my treatment was done and the doctor walked in, asked if he could talk to me in front of my friend, I said "Of course" ( That worried me too, I must admit) He said my numbers looked great, he was ordering more blood work today because he wanted to see how the treatments were working with getting this cancer problem resolved, because the original blood work was from just what I was doing before I started my treatments there. He said that he will be checking my blood a lot, to see how things are working. I felt a huge relief in that moment....
I knew on Friday that my cancer marker C19-90 had gone from 1450 to 1350 and I was celebrating that, what I had not noticed was my LD was 928 at MD Anderson, and now it is 298 .. Once again this lower number was from before this treatment that he is giving to me at his office. I was ready to jump up and down. That is amazing that my cancer marker has gone down 630 points. I am getting better and now with this treatment I know I can kick this cancers ass! It's the moment of happiness that I am seeing how good I am doing. I hope that this continues to decrease and I will have no cancer in my body anywhere ... EVER again!
Then, I asked about the pain in my right top rib and he said "Anytime you are having this treatment and you have pain it is a great thing, it means it's killing the cancer. Apparently when the cancer is dying, it swells up and dies off, which sounds odd to me, but I believe it. I am so excited .. I know that the pain I feel is worth every second of my discomfort if I can make this nightmare go away.
I just want this more than anything else I have ever wanted in my life. I want to be well, I want to know that I will never miss a second of the joys in my little Evan's life. I took her to a birthday party this weekend. She painted a seahorse, I helped her a little and when she was finished I picked it up, and painted "Love you, Mom" on the back, I couldn't help but get emotional thinking and wondering if this would be the last time, her and I could possibly do something like this together. I cried and I could not help myself. It's the way things go, some things overwhelm me more than other.
I was at the nail salon the day before getting my toes painted, and the lady asked if I wanted a manicure for $10. She looked at my hand, and said "Your nails are so healthy" I burst out in tears. It was not that she upset me, it's just describing my nails at healthy made me freak out... Stupid things can upset me. It's silly I know but hey, I have the right to get upset from time to time.
This journey through cancer has many up's and down's there are good days and there are bad days, I know that no matter what kind of day it is, I can make it through this. I will forever be changed, and you know, maybe that is my lesson in life, and maybe just maybe I am here to help each of you see your own life through new eyes. Don't get me wrong, I wish I never had cancer, but because I do, I am going to make the best of it. Share my story, be it my strongest or my weakest moments. I am no robot I am a mom, a sister, a Aunt, a Grandmother, and I am someone that has feelings and has hopes and dreams. I want to live a full life and I know that 45 isn't but half as far as I want to go.
Thank you all for your love and support The new and old friendships I have and for following a journey that is full of not only the journey of cancer, in the good and bad ways that is lived throughout my life and my families.
Sharing hope is the best present you can give another. Don't be afraid to share with your friends and family. Cancer isn't a dead end in anyone's life it's just another obstacle that can be overcome. Watch me!!!!!
Don't cry for me... Pray for me and the continued successes of my full recovery!
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